its been pretty busy but not so much..now that im DONE 1st YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man so much to write about but i'll keep it short.
i will be doing a quick update of whats been going on...
short term goals
-spend tuesdays and saturdays doing art related projects; personal pieces and self study
-get back on my work out schedule. ugh.
-open official website, promote myself
long term goals
-weekly vlogs in september
AHH and now i sleep and write moar 2morrow :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
lulwht?
it feels like when we were young.
the exchanges of ourselves in different forms and expressions.
to become noticed or become something more.
searching for something...but not even sure what that something is.
discovering encrypted words and phrases.
a sense of familiarity has been noticed but is lost in the process.
connections are made.
difference. similarity.
are they?
fear of losing purity.
suppressing a hatred towards something that may not exist.
or does it?...will it?
gambling the choices away
and...........nothing.
it feels like when we were young. doesn't it.
the exchanges of ourselves in different forms and expressions.
to become noticed or become something more.
searching for something...but not even sure what that something is.
discovering encrypted words and phrases.
a sense of familiarity has been noticed but is lost in the process.
connections are made.
difference. similarity.
are they?
fear of losing purity.
suppressing a hatred towards something that may not exist.
or does it?...will it?
gambling the choices away
and...........nothing.
it feels like when we were young. doesn't it.
Monday, February 21, 2011
sorry team
ive been tryin to get back on my feet
SUCKS! lol
70% of my resolutions are still in play. hoping to fix a few this coming reading week
feb 22 - school 8a-5p; killzone 3;
feb 23 - school 11a-6p;
feb 24 - work 8a-1p; school 3p-6p; FAIL day
feb 25 - reading week starts; hand in last min hwk
feb 26 - work 3-10:45; gareth emery concert @ the guv
feb 27 - planning what i want/need for fluxbox
feb 28 - DT w/ illustration classmates
mar 01 - lunch w/ colleen; hwk
mar 02 -
mar 03 - work 8a-1p; tim burton w/ shiny
mar 04 - krista helping me upcoming psych test
mar 05 - work
mar 06 - work last day of reading week;
SUCKS! lol
70% of my resolutions are still in play. hoping to fix a few this coming reading week
mar 03 - work 8a-1p; tim burton w/ shiny
mar 04 - krista helping me upcoming psych test
mar 05 - work
mar 06 - work last day of reading week;
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
journal entry randomness .//. week 001
Keeku:
- Red elements of the broken sun
- The victor's embrace of the rusted temple set alight
- Blue terrace of the eternal plains besieged by the beasts of wings.
- (And of course) I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork- does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
Marek:
Well, the other day we were asking Maroun "Would you suck a dick if ________" Etc. because he absolutely refused to ever suck a dick. He would not suck a dick to cure cancer, he would not suck a dick to prevent himself from getting raped in the ass every night for 20 years, he would never admit to a situation where he would willingly do this.
One scenario I offered was, what if he were trapped in a room where dicks grew plentifully out of the ground, walls, and ceiling, like grass. And he was naked, just sitting in this room, dicks touching him everywhere, throbbing up against his ass as he sleeps, etc.
The only way to get out of this dicktrap would be to suck any one of the ducks protruding from the floor, and make it jizz in his mouth.
He wouldn't do it. :( He'd rather be in this dickprison for life.
Maybe you [all] could draw the dick prison. :(
WIN! lol RANDOMNESS GO!!!!
any requests, themes, comments. let me know :)
show me what you create. :D im sure they would love to see haha
(if ur confused what this is; please read last paragraph [or near the end] of the previous post)
- Red elements of the broken sun
- The victor's embrace of the rusted temple set alight
- Blue terrace of the eternal plains besieged by the beasts of wings.
- (And of course) I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork- does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!
Marek:
Well, the other day we were asking Maroun "Would you suck a dick if ________" Etc. because he absolutely refused to ever suck a dick. He would not suck a dick to cure cancer, he would not suck a dick to prevent himself from getting raped in the ass every night for 20 years, he would never admit to a situation where he would willingly do this.
One scenario I offered was, what if he were trapped in a room where dicks grew plentifully out of the ground, walls, and ceiling, like grass. And he was naked, just sitting in this room, dicks touching him everywhere, throbbing up against his ass as he sleeps, etc.
The only way to get out of this dicktrap would be to suck any one of the ducks protruding from the floor, and make it jizz in his mouth.
He wouldn't do it. :( He'd rather be in this dickprison for life.
Maybe you [all] could draw the dick prison. :(
WIN! lol RANDOMNESS GO!!!!
any requests, themes, comments. let me know :)
show me what you create. :D im sure they would love to see haha
(if ur confused what this is; please read last paragraph [or near the end] of the previous post)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
happy 2011 new years bitches :D
I didn't party too hard but it was nice, a new years spent with some of my best friends. Nothing too crazy but had fun because it was with awesome people. thanks guys! and thank you keeku for letting us use ur house to celebrate :D
This past year has been quite an exciting one. Lots of accomplished goals with new ones beginning shortly after. I fucking LOVE IT. I devoted majority of my time to me and me alone, I got to places I wanted to be and gained so much more than how I viewed life for the past 24 years prior. No drama makes me feel so pretty!! HAHA I bet you weren't expecting that comparison.
So, what has 2010 taught me? To be honest, this cant be put in this perspective. Rather than what it has taught me, its really what I've gained from it. Life is an on going learning experience. I've gained a better understanding of who I am, what I'm capable of, goal setting, and who truly are the ones that will stick by my side at the end of the day. I couldn't be more grateful for what I have and especially the ones who have pushed me forward to get myself in this position. Everyone I've met and helped me realize the smaller things to get me where I am today; thank you.
Okay, now to speak the truth. I was planning to do some art stuff before the break was over but I have not touched ANYTHING. I did paint two paintings the first weekend but its because I had some missing assignments for painting class, so those don't really count. I've been spending the past 2 weeks playing video games with friends. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Halo Reach & the L4D series (mainly)...oh yeah, and working at good ol' sbux. Its not a complete waste because most of the time, I am gaming with my friends after all. It's not weird right? because of the day n age we live in currently. right? LOL man i feel so old.
I tell myself, I've been pretty damn good cutting my video game addiction for the school year. Practically 0 hrs put into any consoles this semester. So I am quite proud of myself for that (what a fucking nerd LOL) My excuse is "I am going to game the fuck out of this break and so, I can focus my time with school in 2nd semester". I think the gamer personality I have is extremely competitive (in a friendly way). So its like I have to keep my "macro" up to par...BUT HOLY SHIT!!! this is horrible. I HAVE to get out of this habit, I know I do. What the hell do i do for the last week. I am not motivated to do anything for some weird reason.
I see some of my animation friends who are just SOO motivated with what they do and all the projects they've been receiving, IT LOOKS SOOO GOOD!!! and when I look at my program we're still learning basic fundamentals of our mediums as well as our own creative thinking. Unfortunately that is my reality. I have to enjoy this and make it my own. I believe I am chasing my past too much in terms with how I used to sketch freely in sketchbooks and be more expressive in that sense. Thinking vs. Doing is what is slowing me down. I really have to make this part of my routine and from this, I will get my practice as well as my passion again. My friends' works are truly amazing, especially the personal pieces they create. However..I MUST!!! listen to my own advice and never compare myself. I AM WHO I AM. I know what needs to be done. The first step is always just getting yourself to do it.
I am writing all this to make sure I am aware of all this rather someone telling me. :)
I need to do some digging, writing and sketching for this last week of break. I have to find old work, old journal entries to myself (is it weird that i write to myself in my sketchbooks?) and just get anything I can. What pushed me back then? Especially in elementary and high school. I hope I find this out soon.
As for my resolutions. (well...more so my goals for 2011)
- Financial goal; GET ILLUSTRATION YEAR 2 PAID OFF ASAP. ABSOLUTE NO. 1 PRIORITY!!!! must consider the impact of any future purchases because of this!!!!
- Try not to let assignments slide to the night before. Your goal is to do as much as you can the day you receive the assignment. YOU WILL stick to this to the best of your ability.
- Fill a sketchbook for conceptual process; spend minimum of 30min to a max of 3 hours (just like old times) in the sketchbook per day. Continue this until you die. kthx. BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. you cannot get there until you accomplish this basic task.
- Buy groceries; make lunches for myself to bring to school. Simple sandwiches & drinks. Spend $$ for food at school only if its an emergency. DO NOT SPEND BECAUSE YOU CAN...but DO NOT SPEND BECAUSE YOU CAN'T.
- Get yourself an agenda with like..DATES. fucking use it and abuse it. welcome to your new home.
- Once ILLUSTRATION YEAR 1 is over; spend the time spent at school w/ acquiring more knowledge with the two business opportunities you have received in 2010. Clothing line and ma. Balance this with your starbucks working schedule as you will most likely be working full time until FALL2011.
- Support Melanie (sister) with her wedding this year.
- Mondays at 10p; as many reps of push ups (record #)
- Wednesdays at 10p; as many reps of sit ups (record #)
- Fridays at 10p; as many reps of dips (record #)
- Saturdays at 10p; plyometrics for an hour.
- Do not get emotionally attached. Relationships. FUCK IT. you know your story. no more dramawill has made you awesome. YEEE your friends are all the love you need right now. She'll come in time. Its not yours right now.
- Clean room, maintain it. Fold your blankets when you wake up, dump dirty clothes into basket, hang up jackets when coming home. Spring time; empty out closet, throw away EVERYTHING that you seriously have no use for. Organize and make space to store more useful things. IF POSSIBLE; get new shelving units from IKEA to replace current wall brackets. DUST THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR FIGURES.
- Be positive.
- Support your friends. Do not take things for granted.
- Stretch, Floss & Sing.
:) btw; somethings i've gathered in 2010 with goal setting is to start off with a goal, break it down to as much detail as you can. monthly, weekly, daily...the more details the better.
but anyway, those are somethings i wanna do this year and if you are reading this, please help me achieve them and keep me in check. I will support you with your personal goals you want to accomplish this year as well
ONE MORE THING
MY ILLUSTRATION STUDENT COMRADES !!!!!!!!!!!!
For conceptual process, Julia wants us to fill out our sketchbooks right? I know some of us have trouble with ideas or "filling up a page". My friends Keeku & Marek are pretty much the most random-est people I know. I've talked to them and they agreed with this idea. Starting the end of next week. They've agreed to tell me a phrase or situation in one sentence (or a few) and our job is to sketch that idea out in your sketchbook in whatever medium. I'm trying to help anyone I can. And get all of us where we want to be. Heck, if you're gonna be successful and aim to the top, why not bring some friends along with you? It might get lonely up there ;) But yes, they're pretty much gonna "paint us a picture" and we're gonna illustrate it. :) Sounds like a plan? I think so :) Any other artists in different programs or whatever who are also reading this, feel free to follow and join in the fun.
AND THAT IS THE KEY WORD. FUN!!!
the next four years...we're gonna have a blast!!! OKAY? kool beans bitches!!!
i hope everyone has had an awesome break, enjoy the last week and LETS DO THIS!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! ALL THE BEST IN 2011 TO YOU AND YOURS!!! <3 <3 <3!!!!!
-melvy
oh wait, before i forget
To the new friends I have made this past semester. Thank you for making this experience such an awesome one. You all have contributed in your own little ways to make me feel very motivated in what I love to do. In what we love to do. In ways I have forgot. It just feels awesome and I hope our journey brings us further in where we want to be. Please continue to support each other, the ones I have met you guys are an amazing bunch and I am glad it was THIS YEAR that decided to get back to school. :) To the future friends I haven't met yet. LOL *insert creepy face here* LOL
btw; yay! oldschool melvy LJ/XANGA POST FTW!!! actually i lied, its not long enough...thatswhatshesaid*cough* WHAT?! lulz ^^ rly guys, thx for reading :D
This past year has been quite an exciting one. Lots of accomplished goals with new ones beginning shortly after. I fucking LOVE IT. I devoted majority of my time to me and me alone, I got to places I wanted to be and gained so much more than how I viewed life for the past 24 years prior. No drama makes me feel so pretty!! HAHA I bet you weren't expecting that comparison.
So, what has 2010 taught me? To be honest, this cant be put in this perspective. Rather than what it has taught me, its really what I've gained from it. Life is an on going learning experience. I've gained a better understanding of who I am, what I'm capable of, goal setting, and who truly are the ones that will stick by my side at the end of the day. I couldn't be more grateful for what I have and especially the ones who have pushed me forward to get myself in this position. Everyone I've met and helped me realize the smaller things to get me where I am today; thank you.
Okay, now to speak the truth. I was planning to do some art stuff before the break was over but I have not touched ANYTHING. I did paint two paintings the first weekend but its because I had some missing assignments for painting class, so those don't really count. I've been spending the past 2 weeks playing video games with friends. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Halo Reach & the L4D series (mainly)...oh yeah, and working at good ol' sbux. Its not a complete waste because most of the time, I am gaming with my friends after all. It's not weird right? because of the day n age we live in currently. right? LOL man i feel so old.
I tell myself, I've been pretty damn good cutting my video game addiction for the school year. Practically 0 hrs put into any consoles this semester. So I am quite proud of myself for that (what a fucking nerd LOL) My excuse is "I am going to game the fuck out of this break and so, I can focus my time with school in 2nd semester". I think the gamer personality I have is extremely competitive (in a friendly way). So its like I have to keep my "macro" up to par...BUT HOLY SHIT!!! this is horrible. I HAVE to get out of this habit, I know I do. What the hell do i do for the last week. I am not motivated to do anything for some weird reason.
I see some of my animation friends who are just SOO motivated with what they do and all the projects they've been receiving, IT LOOKS SOOO GOOD!!! and when I look at my program we're still learning basic fundamentals of our mediums as well as our own creative thinking. Unfortunately that is my reality. I have to enjoy this and make it my own. I believe I am chasing my past too much in terms with how I used to sketch freely in sketchbooks and be more expressive in that sense. Thinking vs. Doing is what is slowing me down. I really have to make this part of my routine and from this, I will get my practice as well as my passion again. My friends' works are truly amazing, especially the personal pieces they create. However..I MUST!!! listen to my own advice and never compare myself. I AM WHO I AM. I know what needs to be done. The first step is always just getting yourself to do it.
I am writing all this to make sure I am aware of all this rather someone telling me. :)
I need to do some digging, writing and sketching for this last week of break. I have to find old work, old journal entries to myself (is it weird that i write to myself in my sketchbooks?) and just get anything I can. What pushed me back then? Especially in elementary and high school. I hope I find this out soon.
As for my resolutions. (well...more so my goals for 2011)
- Financial goal; GET ILLUSTRATION YEAR 2 PAID OFF ASAP. ABSOLUTE NO. 1 PRIORITY!!!! must consider the impact of any future purchases because of this!!!!
- Try not to let assignments slide to the night before. Your goal is to do as much as you can the day you receive the assignment. YOU WILL stick to this to the best of your ability.
- Fill a sketchbook for conceptual process; spend minimum of 30min to a max of 3 hours (just like old times) in the sketchbook per day. Continue this until you die. kthx. BE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. you cannot get there until you accomplish this basic task.
- Buy groceries; make lunches for myself to bring to school. Simple sandwiches & drinks. Spend $$ for food at school only if its an emergency. DO NOT SPEND BECAUSE YOU CAN...but DO NOT SPEND BECAUSE YOU CAN'T.
- Get yourself an agenda with like..DATES. fucking use it and abuse it. welcome to your new home.
- Once ILLUSTRATION YEAR 1 is over; spend the time spent at school w/ acquiring more knowledge with the two business opportunities you have received in 2010. Clothing line and ma. Balance this with your starbucks working schedule as you will most likely be working full time until FALL2011.
- Support Melanie (sister) with her wedding this year.
- Mondays at 10p; as many reps of push ups (record #)
- Wednesdays at 10p; as many reps of sit ups (record #)
- Fridays at 10p; as many reps of dips (record #)
- Saturdays at 10p; plyometrics for an hour.
- Do not get emotionally attached. Relationships. FUCK IT. you know your story. no more drama
- Clean room, maintain it. Fold your blankets when you wake up, dump dirty clothes into basket, hang up jackets when coming home. Spring time; empty out closet, throw away EVERYTHING that you seriously have no use for. Organize and make space to store more useful things. IF POSSIBLE; get new shelving units from IKEA to replace current wall brackets. DUST THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR FIGURES.
- Be positive.
- Support your friends. Do not take things for granted.
- Stretch, Floss & Sing.
:) btw; somethings i've gathered in 2010 with goal setting is to start off with a goal, break it down to as much detail as you can. monthly, weekly, daily...the more details the better.
but anyway, those are somethings i wanna do this year and if you are reading this, please help me achieve them and keep me in check. I will support you with your personal goals you want to accomplish this year as well
ONE MORE THING
MY ILLUSTRATION STUDENT COMRADES !!!!!!!!!!!!
For conceptual process, Julia wants us to fill out our sketchbooks right? I know some of us have trouble with ideas or "filling up a page". My friends Keeku & Marek are pretty much the most random-est people I know. I've talked to them and they agreed with this idea. Starting the end of next week. They've agreed to tell me a phrase or situation in one sentence (or a few) and our job is to sketch that idea out in your sketchbook in whatever medium. I'm trying to help anyone I can. And get all of us where we want to be. Heck, if you're gonna be successful and aim to the top, why not bring some friends along with you? It might get lonely up there ;) But yes, they're pretty much gonna "paint us a picture" and we're gonna illustrate it. :) Sounds like a plan? I think so :) Any other artists in different programs or whatever who are also reading this, feel free to follow and join in the fun.
AND THAT IS THE KEY WORD. FUN!!!
the next four years...we're gonna have a blast!!! OKAY? kool beans bitches!!!
i hope everyone has had an awesome break, enjoy the last week and LETS DO THIS!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! ALL THE BEST IN 2011 TO YOU AND YOURS!!! <3 <3 <3!!!!!
-melvy
oh wait, before i forget
To the new friends I have made this past semester. Thank you for making this experience such an awesome one. You all have contributed in your own little ways to make me feel very motivated in what I love to do. In what we love to do. In ways I have forgot. It just feels awesome and I hope our journey brings us further in where we want to be. Please continue to support each other, the ones I have met you guys are an amazing bunch and I am glad it was THIS YEAR that decided to get back to school. :) To the future friends I haven't met yet. LOL *insert creepy face here* LOL
btw; yay! oldschool melvy LJ/XANGA POST FTW!!! actually i lied, its not long enough...thatswhatshesaid*cough* WHAT?! lulz ^^ rly guys, thx for reading :D
Sunday, December 26, 2010
happy holidays!
i hope everyone has been having a wonderful holiday/break thus far!!!
keep the art'ing up!!!
it's been a while since i've last updated but its been an awesome semester @ sheridan...so expect a classic melvy post (for those who have been following me since LJ/xanga days) :D
all the best to you and yours <3
keep the art'ing up!!!
it's been a while since i've last updated but its been an awesome semester @ sheridan...so expect a classic melvy post (for those who have been following me since LJ/xanga days) :D
all the best to you and yours <3
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
deeper and deeper...
I honestly felt like I was the only one putting any effort. I didn't know what was going on because I was never getting anything in return; no reaction, no emotion. I was trapped in my own mind, bubbling with questions and assumptions I wish I could get answered but they never came. If I would, it was almost as if they were riddles trying to poke into my mind; almost as a test to find out how I would react to it. But then again; this could be me over thinking (which is usually the case). I felt as if we needed some time to focus on our lives. Which in the long run was needed. But it feels I have lost something so pure...yet again.
The fear was the issue all along, investing into something you fear to loose. Just like the N & S of a magnet, the two magnetic fields of the same poles will never meet. Is where we are now. Well, this is how I feel. I've been focusing on the important things in my life, I did not mean to just jump ship and leave without saying anything. If that was an issue, I cannot be sorry. I have been too weak in the past where I have not given myself time to work on things that benefited me in the long run. Things have been great, I have to stay focused and positive. I can only hope you are doing the same. Yes, I am aware I might be jumping into conclusions; however, this is all I can give myself since all I have are past experiences & the lack of communication between the two of us.
I read the article you sent me and I have to agree that it sums up everything. It's upsetting it's taken us this long to realize but maybe we were giving each other TOO much hope. We're both naturally dreamers and the creativity & imaginations we have both created I hold extremely close to the chest. They are important to me and I cannot just "throw them away". But rather reading that article, it coming from another one's words, I wish it were your own. I really do not know where you stand at the end of the day. Where ever you are now, please just know I have not disappeared nor have I ever been away. As your friend, I will always be. Please remember this! <3
congratulations on you're graduation dearest.
i do miss you. /end.
The fear was the issue all along, investing into something you fear to loose. Just like the N & S of a magnet, the two magnetic fields of the same poles will never meet. Is where we are now. Well, this is how I feel. I've been focusing on the important things in my life, I did not mean to just jump ship and leave without saying anything. If that was an issue, I cannot be sorry. I have been too weak in the past where I have not given myself time to work on things that benefited me in the long run. Things have been great, I have to stay focused and positive. I can only hope you are doing the same. Yes, I am aware I might be jumping into conclusions; however, this is all I can give myself since all I have are past experiences & the lack of communication between the two of us.
I read the article you sent me and I have to agree that it sums up everything. It's upsetting it's taken us this long to realize but maybe we were giving each other TOO much hope. We're both naturally dreamers and the creativity & imaginations we have both created I hold extremely close to the chest. They are important to me and I cannot just "throw them away". But rather reading that article, it coming from another one's words, I wish it were your own. I really do not know where you stand at the end of the day. Where ever you are now, please just know I have not disappeared nor have I ever been away. As your friend, I will always be. Please remember this! <3
congratulations on you're graduation dearest.
i do miss you. /end.
Monday, October 18, 2010
:T
im currently hating on msn
constantly logging me out when my internet is dandy as candy *sad face*
ugh
constantly logging me out when my internet is dandy as candy *sad face*
ugh
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
photo update
illustration has been awesome so far, im sorry i just realized i forgot to update last week LOL...anyway HI!!!
we're on week 6
WOW week 6 already. this first image was done in object drawing class...learning alot in that class...hopefully i will be able to apply those techniques with anything else i create in the future :D
and...here's one of our first major projects. we had to MANUALLY draw our face using dots, lines, and shapes. it was pretty intense! but so fun and enjoyable to do!! hahaha enjoy
yeah illustration has been moving quite steady and fast
Japanese class as well!! im learning a lot in that class too!!! busy busy busy!!!
anyway its time to sleep
hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving :) all the best!! <3
we're on week 6
WOW week 6 already. this first image was done in object drawing class...learning alot in that class...hopefully i will be able to apply those techniques with anything else i create in the future :D
and...here's one of our first major projects. we had to MANUALLY draw our face using dots, lines, and shapes. it was pretty intense! but so fun and enjoyable to do!! hahaha enjoy
yeah illustration has been moving quite steady and fast
Japanese class as well!! im learning a lot in that class too!!! busy busy busy!!!
anyway its time to sleep
hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving :) all the best!! <3
Thursday, September 30, 2010
on a good day (8)
Little bit lost and...
A little bit lonely
Little bit cold here
A little bit feared
But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can
Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day
And it feels like me
On a good day
I'm a little bit hemmed in
A little bit isolated
A little bit hopeful
A little bit cold
But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can
Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter...
And it feels like me
On a good day
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day
A little bit lonely
Little bit cold here
A little bit feared
But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can
Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day
And it feels like me
On a good day
I'm a little bit hemmed in
A little bit isolated
A little bit hopeful
A little bit cold
But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can
Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter...
And it feels like me
On a good day
Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
its time to go back...
its been fun, but i think i should really consider...
i think i'm gonna go back on using pencil in my sketchbook.
well, the initial sketch at least*
i think i'm gonna go back on using pencil in my sketchbook.
well, the initial sketch at least*
Sunday, September 19, 2010
random time = random entry
halo reach brings back some good memories of halo 3 but i must say, i'm doing quite well for restraining myself from playing as often as i once did.
i handed one of our first assignments last Friday. it was pretty intense but did not stress on finishing it since i planned a little better this time. i just have to keep this up cuz i can see some intense stuff happening soon!! getting to know my classmates more n more as each day passes!!! they're truly a great group of people but no one can beat the original crew...whom of which have graduated from 4th year in their respective illustration & animation programs...(you all know who you are...+ cj) LOL
did you know you are SO AWESOME!!?!?! LIKE A POSSUM?!!!! its all "enjoyment" :D
i havent seen alot of people in so long but its expected i guess...ahha i miss you all. im still tryin to figure out a few things here n there but hopefully we'll see each other soon :D
oH! check this out
it makes me feel nostalgic. why? i dunno. i wanna dance to some DnB. hahaha
oh yeah....i need a haircut.
i handed one of our first assignments last Friday. it was pretty intense but did not stress on finishing it since i planned a little better this time. i just have to keep this up cuz i can see some intense stuff happening soon!! getting to know my classmates more n more as each day passes!!! they're truly a great group of people but no one can beat the original crew...whom of which have graduated from 4th year in their respective illustration & animation programs...(you all know who you are...+ cj) LOL
did you know you are SO AWESOME!!?!?! LIKE A POSSUM?!!!! its all "enjoyment" :D
i havent seen alot of people in so long but its expected i guess...ahha i miss you all. im still tryin to figure out a few things here n there but hopefully we'll see each other soon :D
oH! check this out
it makes me feel nostalgic. why? i dunno. i wanna dance to some DnB. hahaha
oh yeah....i need a haircut.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
nike
LOL. just do it.
i told myself i'd try my best to at least update this blog once a week. either saturday or sunday. unfortunately i have no pictures to share since it was...*drum roll* THE FIRST WEEK OF ILLUSTRATION!!! hahahaha yeah the week has been fun but the work is already on its way. And things are beginning to roll.
I got paid on friday...spent all of it...ALL of it...on parking, japanese class and supplies...its quite intense but i saw this coming and expected nothing less...hahaha! its forcing me to manage my money and being more organized...afterall, that was my goal...hopefully this bombardment will teach me something in the long run. :)
ive made a very few amount of new friends but hopefully all that will change in the up coming weeks...i think everyone's still in their shy zone...hahaha in time...we have 4 years to get to know each other so i guess there isn't a huge rush.
until next week guys. cheers :D~
i told myself i'd try my best to at least update this blog once a week. either saturday or sunday. unfortunately i have no pictures to share since it was...*drum roll* THE FIRST WEEK OF ILLUSTRATION!!! hahahaha yeah the week has been fun but the work is already on its way. And things are beginning to roll.
I got paid on friday...spent all of it...ALL of it...on parking, japanese class and supplies...its quite intense but i saw this coming and expected nothing less...hahaha! its forcing me to manage my money and being more organized...afterall, that was my goal...hopefully this bombardment will teach me something in the long run. :)
ive made a very few amount of new friends but hopefully all that will change in the up coming weeks...i think everyone's still in their shy zone...hahaha in time...we have 4 years to get to know each other so i guess there isn't a huge rush.
until next week guys. cheers :D~
Thursday, September 9, 2010
a toast...
To one of the most influential, caring, loving, inspiring, individuals in my life!!
There has never been a day that has passed by where I felt as if you did not have my back and give me full support in whatever I would engage myself with. You're so close when it feels like months and months have separated us when we last would see each other. With all bumps on the roads that have brought us to where we are now...and onward to the rough waves of the seas that lie ahead...I thank you for always being there...but mainly being yourself.
Despite the subtle change that inevitably occurs in everyone's lives; please do not forget where we've come from and the amazing journey's we have gone through. It has been fun and I do hope our crazy wild adventures continue because you bring out the best of me when I least expect it.
Thank you. You are someone much more. Please don't forget who you are when you feel lost. Find yourself and you'll be okay. :)
Cheers. To you. My best friend & LFpartner.
Happy Birthday Shiny (Crystal, yup your real name is in brackets). May all your best wishes come true.
Love you lots <3!!!
~060103 637
There has never been a day that has passed by where I felt as if you did not have my back and give me full support in whatever I would engage myself with. You're so close when it feels like months and months have separated us when we last would see each other. With all bumps on the roads that have brought us to where we are now...and onward to the rough waves of the seas that lie ahead...I thank you for always being there...but mainly being yourself.
Despite the subtle change that inevitably occurs in everyone's lives; please do not forget where we've come from and the amazing journey's we have gone through. It has been fun and I do hope our crazy wild adventures continue because you bring out the best of me when I least expect it.
Thank you. You are someone much more. Please don't forget who you are when you feel lost. Find yourself and you'll be okay. :)
Cheers. To you. My best friend & LFpartner.
Happy Birthday Shiny (Crystal, yup your real name is in brackets). May all your best wishes come true.
Love you lots <3!!!
~060103 637
Monday, September 6, 2010
2010 greatness
First, I would like to apologize for not posting to those who follow me or check up for updates. I have been slacking off in the blogging department only because I find myself not having much to talk about anymore. I guess it comes with growing up. In high school I found myself "blogging" all the time through AA, livejournal/xanga and finally moving on to facebook notes. I'd type a huge entry with all the small details of the day, issue and/or event i would be talking about. I have cut down piece by piece to the point where i wouldn't write anything at all. I guess I've tried to paint that picture for my readers but with words because the art at that time was lacking (still is). But I am no writer after all. But regardless I just wanted to say that.
This summer, heck, THIS YEAR has been so exciting. As each day passes its just "what's next, what's next, what's next!??!" Getting accepted, opportunities, parties and just ENJOYING myself. I couldn't ask for anything more and I KNOW that things will only get better from here on in. I've said many things and I would never pull through. However this year I couldn't take it anymore. I had to prove myself wrong and show myself that I can make this work. Believing in yourself sounds so tacky, but you guys have no idea where this can possibly take you. Like one of my new business teams has been teaching me..."belief leads to attitude, attitude leads to action, and actions lead to results". Its so easy to get where you want to be. Its just how much do you guys really want it?? Out of all the things I've discovered this year...I think the most helpful and motivational thing was realizing "who I am". This has pushed me to so much realizations in life + discarding all those useless things that only slowed me down. The distractions and drama that don't need my attention to begin with. The answers are so simple and my mind has never been clearer.
I forgot what made me happy on a genuine scale. I can honestly say since 2003 to roughly 2008/2009...I've been searching for things that took way too long to realistically gain. I wanted this and that and comparing myself with the people in the same age group and where they were in life. This is the worst possible thing you could do for yourself. Pushing myself to find that significant other has got me in so much more dramatic states than I can ask for. I got so caught up with keeping in touch with friends and their lives; trying to recreate a personality that I thought would be ideal for me; trying to justify all the reasons for why things came to be. What was I doing...
In all frustration, I believe I wanted to get the old me back. Carefree, meeting new faces, being all crazy, funny and weird without worrying about being judged. That was high school for me hahaha. It really comes down to how much you really want it. Things will come to you. Didn't like being "picked" on all that much in high school. Its happened all my life up until that point and I just had enough. I went to look for new friends and with the help of DDR, AA, pmall, raving and enjoying things I love doing already with people who love the same things just as equally...lets just say I love my social network now :)
This year has been a huge step forward but at the same time, equally as far a step back. What I mean is I think I've been subconsciously doing things I used to do naturally without having me know about it. I wanted...like what i said earlier...to be happy genuinely but not be looking for it by forcing myself to have a good time you know?
I haven't been to a rave/electronica party/concert in YEAAAAAAARS (Daft Punk didn't count because it was JUST them). It was my first time back at a party with almost an endless list of DJs (obviously a majority of unfamiliar names because I have not been in the scene for a while) last night. The reason why I knew this party wasn't sketchy was because "Labour of Love" (the annual event name) has been around since I was raving back in high school. I decided to just go for it because I haven't attended a decent party like this since 2005. Regardless of my lack of sleep from the partying w/ coworkers the night before and going straight to work. The moment I got home, I went to get ready, eat dinner and hopefully have a good time. I couldn't fit a small nap in between. We arrived at Guverment (the venue where LoL was happening) and nostalgia started kicking in. The party was amazing, I felt so dazed because of that lack of sleep, so energetic and being in a room full of people who enjoy that music. The same music all your other friends hate HAHA. Its not the same energy as a crowd you would get at a club. As I watched...the crowd was jumping up and down to the beat and fist pumping the night away. Glow sticks and LED/"photon" lights spotted scattered through out the crowd. Lasers flying all across the room reflecting off mirrors creating designs that make you just go awe. The bass so loud that it creates inanimate objects to dance on the surface of the stage. And the volume blasted so loud your ears still ring as you type a blog entry almost 15 hours after the event began. This has truly been eventful for me. A perfect way to end this summer and before I start something new.
Sometime during that night, I told my friend Andy that I forgot how fun these events could be. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having considering I had 3 drinks (which was at the begining and mr smily melvy didnt last too long) and also not being on the influence of a certain little pill (quit in 2004 *claps*). I got that feeling of being genuinely happy without being drunk. I remember what it felt like and I want to never forget this feeling again.
...tomorrow is the first step to my new life!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!! :D
Art used to make me happy because it was my passion. But I got lazy and unmotivated and hated art because it felt like a chore. Having to do something rather than wanting to do something. I'm going into school with a new mindset as well as an open one. I'm going to get some where and gain so much more than what I initially expected. I've never been more excited to start school my whole life. LETS DO THIS!!!!
THANK YOU EVERYONE THE PAST YEAR, THE PAST FEW MONTHS, THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THE PAST FEW DAYS...thank you for pushing me to where i am and where i will be going. Whether some have been pushing me directly or for some of you who have been doing it without you even knowing....thank you so damn much...the ty list is way to long so I'm gonna leave it at that. Its time to finally gain some sleep for when I finally do get up...BOOM* watch out 9am drawing/painting class...melvy is on his way.
woot!~
btw; ironic how after typing this whole entry...the first paragraph makes no sense LOL :D (y) "melvin yuen likes this"
This summer, heck, THIS YEAR has been so exciting. As each day passes its just "what's next, what's next, what's next!??!" Getting accepted, opportunities, parties and just ENJOYING myself. I couldn't ask for anything more and I KNOW that things will only get better from here on in. I've said many things and I would never pull through. However this year I couldn't take it anymore. I had to prove myself wrong and show myself that I can make this work. Believing in yourself sounds so tacky, but you guys have no idea where this can possibly take you. Like one of my new business teams has been teaching me..."belief leads to attitude, attitude leads to action, and actions lead to results". Its so easy to get where you want to be. Its just how much do you guys really want it?? Out of all the things I've discovered this year...I think the most helpful and motivational thing was realizing "who I am". This has pushed me to so much realizations in life + discarding all those useless things that only slowed me down. The distractions and drama that don't need my attention to begin with. The answers are so simple and my mind has never been clearer.
I forgot what made me happy on a genuine scale. I can honestly say since 2003 to roughly 2008/2009...I've been searching for things that took way too long to realistically gain. I wanted this and that and comparing myself with the people in the same age group and where they were in life. This is the worst possible thing you could do for yourself. Pushing myself to find that significant other has got me in so much more dramatic states than I can ask for. I got so caught up with keeping in touch with friends and their lives; trying to recreate a personality that I thought would be ideal for me; trying to justify all the reasons for why things came to be. What was I doing...
In all frustration, I believe I wanted to get the old me back. Carefree, meeting new faces, being all crazy, funny and weird without worrying about being judged. That was high school for me hahaha. It really comes down to how much you really want it. Things will come to you. Didn't like being "picked" on all that much in high school. Its happened all my life up until that point and I just had enough. I went to look for new friends and with the help of DDR, AA, pmall, raving and enjoying things I love doing already with people who love the same things just as equally...lets just say I love my social network now :)
This year has been a huge step forward but at the same time, equally as far a step back. What I mean is I think I've been subconsciously doing things I used to do naturally without having me know about it. I wanted...like what i said earlier...to be happy genuinely but not be looking for it by forcing myself to have a good time you know?
I haven't been to a rave/electronica party/concert in YEAAAAAAARS (Daft Punk didn't count because it was JUST them). It was my first time back at a party with almost an endless list of DJs (obviously a majority of unfamiliar names because I have not been in the scene for a while) last night. The reason why I knew this party wasn't sketchy was because "Labour of Love" (the annual event name) has been around since I was raving back in high school. I decided to just go for it because I haven't attended a decent party like this since 2005. Regardless of my lack of sleep from the partying w/ coworkers the night before and going straight to work. The moment I got home, I went to get ready, eat dinner and hopefully have a good time. I couldn't fit a small nap in between. We arrived at Guverment (the venue where LoL was happening) and nostalgia started kicking in. The party was amazing, I felt so dazed because of that lack of sleep, so energetic and being in a room full of people who enjoy that music. The same music all your other friends hate HAHA. Its not the same energy as a crowd you would get at a club. As I watched...the crowd was jumping up and down to the beat and fist pumping the night away. Glow sticks and LED/"photon" lights spotted scattered through out the crowd. Lasers flying all across the room reflecting off mirrors creating designs that make you just go awe. The bass so loud that it creates inanimate objects to dance on the surface of the stage. And the volume blasted so loud your ears still ring as you type a blog entry almost 15 hours after the event began. This has truly been eventful for me. A perfect way to end this summer and before I start something new.
Sometime during that night, I told my friend Andy that I forgot how fun these events could be. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having considering I had 3 drinks (which was at the begining and mr smily melvy didnt last too long) and also not being on the influence of a certain little pill (quit in 2004 *claps*). I got that feeling of being genuinely happy without being drunk. I remember what it felt like and I want to never forget this feeling again.
...tomorrow is the first step to my new life!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!! :D
Art used to make me happy because it was my passion. But I got lazy and unmotivated and hated art because it felt like a chore. Having to do something rather than wanting to do something. I'm going into school with a new mindset as well as an open one. I'm going to get some where and gain so much more than what I initially expected. I've never been more excited to start school my whole life. LETS DO THIS!!!!
THANK YOU EVERYONE THE PAST YEAR, THE PAST FEW MONTHS, THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THE PAST FEW DAYS...thank you for pushing me to where i am and where i will be going. Whether some have been pushing me directly or for some of you who have been doing it without you even knowing....thank you so damn much...the ty list is way to long so I'm gonna leave it at that. Its time to finally gain some sleep for when I finally do get up...BOOM* watch out 9am drawing/painting class...melvy is on his way.
woot!~
btw; ironic how after typing this whole entry...the first paragraph makes no sense LOL :D (y) "melvin yuen likes this"
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
home.
wishing i could be where i once were.
when everything was less trivial and simple.
but as each day passes, the distance from it constantly grows.
unfortunately, so do i.
letting go is hard. as much as i want to. i can't seem to pull myself to do it.
i've spent too much time hoping & wishing. leaving opportunities go to waste.
has everything been a waste? i sure hope not. but what is it really?
i don't know.
i should be doing this for myself. but this is clearly not the case.
it has never been.
no matter what i've done, it's always ended up the same
old habbits die hard.
i have to get out of here. go far away. start fresh.
one day. for now all i can do is work towards it. work hard i will.
distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
...
i look at myself and i don't see the person i was 6-7 years ago.
freshly graduated high school student. LIFE does have its surprises.
i would have never expected this for myself.
(no one does)
i want to quit. i want to get rid of everything.
this lifestyle has been interesting but its not what i expected it to be.
if that's done, what will i be. what will i become?
i haven't been more lost.
im tired. despite of all this. i am fine.
screwing up is suppose to happen. no one is perfect.
what more can one do but be happy. must stop the negativity.
i want to go home.
when everything was less trivial and simple.
but as each day passes, the distance from it constantly grows.
unfortunately, so do i.
letting go is hard. as much as i want to. i can't seem to pull myself to do it.
i've spent too much time hoping & wishing. leaving opportunities go to waste.
has everything been a waste? i sure hope not. but what is it really?
i don't know.
i should be doing this for myself. but this is clearly not the case.
it has never been.
no matter what i've done, it's always ended up the same
old habbits die hard.
i have to get out of here. go far away. start fresh.
one day. for now all i can do is work towards it. work hard i will.
distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
...
i look at myself and i don't see the person i was 6-7 years ago.
freshly graduated high school student. LIFE does have its surprises.
i would have never expected this for myself.
(no one does)
i want to quit. i want to get rid of everything.
this lifestyle has been interesting but its not what i expected it to be.
if that's done, what will i be. what will i become?
i haven't been more lost.
im tired. despite of all this. i am fine.
screwing up is suppose to happen. no one is perfect.
what more can one do but be happy. must stop the negativity.
i want to go home.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
the next step
My friend steph (eloquencemydear.blogspot.com) updates her fashion blog pretty frequently, inspires me to update something on a regular basis and write stuff I would know what I'd be talking about for once. I guess I want to keep the stuff about my day to day life and the rants I have here and there seperate. Sure, this blog that you are currently reading shows that I'm human and that I have ideas and morals. But I want to give more than that...somehow.
this is $1000+ worth of magazines. $21ish a month since 2006.
I've decided to accomplish tutorials in a magazine I've been collecting monthly since 2006. They're Photoshop Magazines and each issue have tutorials and comes with a CD loaded with awesomeness. I want to do tutorials from the magazine and post anything I can possibly get out of it. I created a new blog for just that purpose. Its sort of a way of self teaching/experimentation. No tutorials up yet but the blog has been created. What I really mean by posting the tutorial is...I do the step to step instructions from the magazine, briefly describe it to you and what I felt were key points and post the final product. Sometime in the future I want to write my own tutorials so possibly you can try out for yourself if you're interested.
You can check it out at: melvyart-tutorials.blogspot.com
btw a quick link to the page is also located by clicking on my face to the right of the screen. :D
many thanks :)
I've decided to accomplish tutorials in a magazine I've been collecting monthly since 2006. They're Photoshop Magazines and each issue have tutorials and comes with a CD loaded with awesomeness. I want to do tutorials from the magazine and post anything I can possibly get out of it. I created a new blog for just that purpose. Its sort of a way of self teaching/experimentation. No tutorials up yet but the blog has been created. What I really mean by posting the tutorial is...I do the step to step instructions from the magazine, briefly describe it to you and what I felt were key points and post the final product. Sometime in the future I want to write my own tutorials so possibly you can try out for yourself if you're interested.
You can check it out at: melvyart-tutorials.blogspot.com
btw a quick link to the page is also located by clicking on my face to the right of the screen. :D
many thanks :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
