home.

wishing i could be where i once were.
when everything was less trivial and simple.
but as each day passes, the distance from it constantly grows.
unfortunately, so do i.

letting go is hard. as much as i want to. i can't seem to pull myself to do it.
i've spent too much time hoping & wishing. leaving opportunities go to waste.
has everything been a waste? i sure hope not. but what is it really?
i don't know.

i should be doing this for myself. but this is clearly not the case.
it has never been.
no matter what i've done, it's always ended up the same
old habbits die hard.

i have to get out of here. go far away. start fresh.
one day. for now all i can do is work towards it. work hard i will.
distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
...

i look at myself and i don't see the person i was 6-7 years ago.
freshly graduated high school student. LIFE does have its surprises.
i would have never expected this for myself.
(no one does)

i want to quit. i want to get rid of everything.
this lifestyle has been interesting but its not what i expected it to be.
if that's done, what will i be. what will i become?
i haven't been more lost.

im tired. despite of all this. i am fine.
screwing up is suppose to happen. no one is perfect.
what more can one do but be happy. must stop the negativity.
i want to go home.