happy holidays!

i hope everyone has been having a wonderful holiday/break thus far!!!
keep the art'ing up!!!

it's been a while since i've last updated but its been an awesome semester @ sheridan...so expect a classic melvy post (for those who have been following me since LJ/xanga days) :D
all the best to you and yours <3

yes sir batman

deeper and deeper...

I honestly felt like I was the only one putting any effort. I didn't know what was going on because I was never getting anything in return; no reaction, no emotion. I was trapped in my own mind, bubbling with questions and assumptions I wish I could get answered but they never came. If I would, it was almost as if they were riddles trying to poke into my mind; almost as a test to find out how I would react to it. But then again; this could be me over thinking (which is usually the case). I felt as if we needed some time to focus on our lives. Which in the long run was needed. But it feels I have lost something so pure...yet again.
The fear was the issue all along, investing into something you fear to loose. Just like the N & S of a magnet, the two magnetic fields of the same poles will never meet. Is where we are now. Well, this is how I feel. I've been focusing on the important things in my life, I did not mean to just jump ship and leave without saying anything. If that was an issue, I cannot be sorry. I have been too weak in the past where I have not given myself time to work on things that benefited me in the long run. Things have been great, I have to stay focused and positive. I can only hope you are doing the same. Yes, I am aware I might be jumping into conclusions; however, this is all I can give myself since all I have are past experiences & the lack of communication between the two of us.
I read the article you sent me and I have to agree that it sums up everything. It's upsetting it's taken us this long to realize but maybe we were giving each other TOO much hope. We're both naturally dreamers and the creativity & imaginations we have both created I hold extremely close to the chest. They are important to me and I cannot just "throw them away". But rather reading that article, it coming from another one's words, I wish it were your own. I really do not know where you stand at the end of the day. Where ever you are now, please just know I have not disappeared nor have I ever been away. As your friend, I will always be. Please remember this! <3

congratulations on you're graduation dearest.

i do miss you. /end.

:T

im currently hating on msn
constantly logging me out when my internet is dandy as candy *sad face*

ugh

photo update

illustration has been awesome so far, im sorry i just realized i forgot to update last week LOL...anyway HI!!!

we're on week 6
WOW week 6 already. this first image was done in object drawing class...learning alot in that class...hopefully i will be able to apply those techniques with anything else i create in the future :D

and...here's one of our first major projects. we had to MANUALLY draw our face using dots, lines, and shapes. it was pretty intense! but so fun and enjoyable to do!! hahaha enjoy


















yeah illustration has been moving quite steady and fast
Japanese class as well!! im learning a lot in that class too!!! busy busy busy!!!
anyway its time to sleep
hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving :) all the best!! <3

on a good day (8)

Little bit lost and...
A little bit lonely
Little bit cold here
A little bit feared

But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can

Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day

And it feels like me
On a good day

I'm a little bit hemmed in
A little bit isolated
A little bit hopeful
A little bit cold

But I hold on
And I
Feel strong
And I
Know that I can

Getting used to it
Lit the fuse to it
Like to know who I am

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter...

And it feels like me
On a good day

Been talking to myself forever, yeah
And how I wish I knew me better, yeah
Still sitting on a shelf and never
Never seen the sun shine brighter
And it feels like me
On a good day

T^T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this genuinely did it for me T^T

its time to go back...

its been fun, but i think i should really consider...

i think i'm gonna go back on using pencil in my sketchbook.







well, the initial sketch at least*

random time = random entry

halo reach brings back some good memories of halo 3 but i must say, i'm doing quite well for restraining myself from playing as often as i once did.

i handed one of our first assignments last Friday. it was pretty intense but did not stress on finishing it since i planned a little better this time. i just have to keep this up cuz i can see some intense stuff happening soon!! getting to know my classmates more n more as each day passes!!! they're truly a great group of people but no one can beat the original crew...whom of which have graduated from 4th year in their respective illustration & animation programs...(you all know who you are...+ cj) LOL

did you know you are SO AWESOME!!?!?! LIKE A POSSUM?!!!! its all "enjoyment" :D

i havent seen alot of people in so long but its expected i guess...ahha i miss you all. im still tryin to figure out a few things here n there but hopefully we'll see each other soon :D

oH! check this out

it makes me feel nostalgic. why? i dunno. i wanna dance to some DnB. hahaha

oh yeah....i need a haircut.

nike

LOL. just do it.

i told myself i'd try my best to at least update this blog once a week. either saturday or sunday. unfortunately i have no pictures to share since it was...*drum roll* THE FIRST WEEK OF ILLUSTRATION!!! hahahaha yeah the week has been fun but the work is already on its way. And things are beginning to roll.

I got paid on friday...spent all of it...ALL of it...on parking, japanese class and supplies...its quite intense but i saw this coming and expected nothing less...hahaha! its forcing me to manage my money and being more organized...afterall, that was my goal...hopefully this bombardment will teach me something in the long run. :)

ive made a very few amount of new friends but hopefully all that will change in the up coming weeks...i think everyone's still in their shy zone...hahaha in time...we have 4 years to get to know each other so i guess there isn't a huge rush.

until next week guys. cheers :D~

a toast...

To one of the most influential, caring, loving, inspiring, individuals in my life!!

There has never been a day that has passed by where I felt as if you did not have my back and give me full support in whatever I would engage myself with. You're so close when it feels like months and months have separated us when we last would see each other. With all bumps on the roads that have brought us to where we are now...and onward to the rough waves of the seas that lie ahead...I thank you for always being there...but mainly being yourself.

Despite the subtle change that inevitably occurs in everyone's lives; please do not forget where we've come from and the amazing journey's we have gone through. It has been fun and I do hope our crazy wild adventures continue because you bring out the best of me when I least expect it.

Thank you. You are someone much more. Please don't forget who you are when you feel lost. Find yourself and you'll be okay. :)

Cheers. To you. My best friend & LFpartner.
Happy Birthday Shiny (Crystal, yup your real name is in brackets). May all your best wishes come true.
Love you lots <3!!!
~060103 637

2010 greatness

First, I would like to apologize for not posting to those who follow me or check up for updates. I have been slacking off in the blogging department only because I find myself not having much to talk about anymore. I guess it comes with growing up. In high school I found myself "blogging" all the time through AA, livejournal/xanga and finally moving on to facebook notes. I'd type a huge entry with all the small details of the day, issue and/or event i would be talking about. I have cut down piece by piece to the point where i wouldn't write anything at all. I guess I've tried to paint that picture for my readers but with words because the art at that time was lacking (still is). But I am no writer after all. But regardless I just wanted to say that.

This summer, heck, THIS YEAR has been so exciting. As each day passes its just "what's next, what's next, what's next!??!" Getting accepted, opportunities, parties and just ENJOYING myself. I couldn't ask for anything more and I KNOW that things will only get better from here on in. I've said many things and I would never pull through. However this year I couldn't take it anymore. I had to prove myself wrong and show myself that I can make this work. Believing in yourself sounds so tacky, but you guys have no idea where this can possibly take you. Like one of my new business teams has been teaching me..."belief leads to attitude, attitude leads to action, and actions lead to results". Its so easy to get where you want to be. Its just how much do you guys really want it?? Out of all the things I've discovered this year...I think the most helpful and motivational thing was realizing "who I am". This has pushed me to so much realizations in life + discarding all those useless things that only slowed me down. The distractions and drama that don't need my attention to begin with. The answers are so simple and my mind has never been clearer.

I forgot what made me happy on a genuine scale. I can honestly say since 2003 to roughly 2008/2009...I've been searching for things that took way too long to realistically gain. I wanted this and that and comparing myself with the people in the same age group and where they were in life. This is the worst possible thing you could do for yourself. Pushing myself to find that significant other has got me in so much more dramatic states than I can ask for. I got so caught up with keeping in touch with friends and their lives; trying to recreate a personality that I thought would be ideal for me; trying to justify all the reasons for why things came to be. What was I doing...

In all frustration, I believe I wanted to get the old me back. Carefree, meeting new faces, being all crazy, funny and weird without worrying about being judged. That was high school for me hahaha. It really comes down to how much you really want it. Things will come to you. Didn't like being "picked" on all that much in high school. Its happened all my life up until that point and I just had enough. I went to look for new friends and with the help of DDR, AA, pmall, raving and enjoying things I love doing already with people who love the same things just as equally...lets just say I love my social network now :)

This year has been a huge step forward but at the same time, equally as far a step back. What I mean is I think I've been subconsciously doing things I used to do naturally without having me know about it. I wanted...like what i said earlier...to be happy genuinely but not be looking for it by forcing myself to have a good time you know?

I haven't been to a rave/electronica party/concert in YEAAAAAAARS (Daft Punk didn't count because it was JUST them). It was my first time back at a party with almost an endless list of DJs (obviously a majority of unfamiliar names because I have not been in the scene for a while) last night. The reason why I knew this party wasn't sketchy was because "Labour of Love" (the annual event name) has been around since I was raving back in high school. I decided to just go for it because I haven't attended a decent party like this since 2005. Regardless of my lack of sleep from the partying w/ coworkers the night before and going straight to work. The moment I got home, I went to get ready, eat dinner and hopefully have a good time. I couldn't fit a small nap in between. We arrived at Guverment (the venue where LoL was happening) and nostalgia started kicking in. The party was amazing, I felt so dazed because of that lack of sleep, so energetic and being in a room full of people who enjoy that music. The same music all your other friends hate HAHA. Its not the same energy as a crowd you would get at a club. As I watched...the crowd was jumping up and down to the beat and fist pumping the night away. Glow sticks and LED/"photon" lights spotted scattered through out the crowd. Lasers flying all across the room reflecting off mirrors creating designs that make you just go awe. The bass so loud that it creates inanimate objects to dance on the surface of the stage. And the volume blasted so loud your ears still ring as you type a blog entry almost 15 hours after the event began. This has truly been eventful for me. A perfect way to end this summer and before I start something new.

Sometime during that night, I told my friend Andy that I forgot how fun these events could be. I couldn't believe how much fun I was having considering I had 3 drinks (which was at the begining and mr smily melvy didnt last too long) and also not being on the influence of a certain little pill (quit in 2004 *claps*). I got that feeling of being genuinely happy without being drunk. I remember what it felt like and I want to never forget this feeling again.

...tomorrow is the first step to my new life!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!! :D

Art used to make me happy because it was my passion. But I got lazy and unmotivated and hated art because it felt like a chore. Having to do something rather than wanting to do something. I'm going into school with a new mindset as well as an open one. I'm going to get some where and gain so much more than what I initially expected. I've never been more excited to start school my whole life. LETS DO THIS!!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE THE PAST YEAR, THE PAST FEW MONTHS, THE PAST FEW WEEKS, THE PAST FEW DAYS...thank you for pushing me to where i am and where i will be going. Whether some have been pushing me directly or for some of you who have been doing it without you even knowing....thank you so damn much...the ty list is way to long so I'm gonna leave it at that. Its time to finally gain some sleep for when I finally do get up...BOOM* watch out 9am drawing/painting class...melvy is on his way.
woot!~



btw; ironic how after typing this whole entry...the first paragraph makes no sense LOL :D (y) "melvin yuen likes this"

home.

wishing i could be where i once were.
when everything was less trivial and simple.
but as each day passes, the distance from it constantly grows.
unfortunately, so do i.

letting go is hard. as much as i want to. i can't seem to pull myself to do it.
i've spent too much time hoping & wishing. leaving opportunities go to waste.
has everything been a waste? i sure hope not. but what is it really?
i don't know.

i should be doing this for myself. but this is clearly not the case.
it has never been.
no matter what i've done, it's always ended up the same
old habbits die hard.

i have to get out of here. go far away. start fresh.
one day. for now all i can do is work towards it. work hard i will.
distance only makes the heart grow fonder.
...

i look at myself and i don't see the person i was 6-7 years ago.
freshly graduated high school student. LIFE does have its surprises.
i would have never expected this for myself.
(no one does)

i want to quit. i want to get rid of everything.
this lifestyle has been interesting but its not what i expected it to be.
if that's done, what will i be. what will i become?
i haven't been more lost.

im tired. despite of all this. i am fine.
screwing up is suppose to happen. no one is perfect.
what more can one do but be happy. must stop the negativity.
i want to go home.

the next step

My friend steph (eloquencemydear.blogspot.com) updates her fashion blog pretty frequently, inspires me to update something on a regular basis and write stuff I would know what I'd be talking about for once. I guess I want to keep the stuff about my day to day life and the rants I have here and there seperate. Sure, this blog that you are currently reading shows that I'm human and that I have ideas and morals. But I want to give more than that...somehow.

this is $1000+ worth of magazines. $21ish a month since 2006.

I've decided to accomplish tutorials in a magazine I've been collecting monthly since 2006. They're Photoshop Magazines and each issue have tutorials and comes with a CD loaded with awesomeness. I want to do tutorials from the magazine and post anything I can possibly get out of it. I created a new blog for just that purpose. Its sort of a way of self teaching/experimentation. No tutorials up yet but the blog has been created. What I really mean by posting the tutorial is...I do the step to step instructions from the magazine, briefly describe it to you and what I felt were key points and post the final product. Sometime in the future I want to write my own tutorials so possibly you can try out for yourself if you're interested.


You can check it out at: melvyart-tutorials.blogspot.com


btw a quick link to the page is also located by clicking on my face to the right of the screen. :D

many thanks :)

feeling sexcellent!!!

pow pow!! ty everybody

my BBA Illustration Portfolio 2010

Here it is; the portfolio I handed in a few weeks ago. A few of the "sketchbook" drawings I included are images of posts I've done earlier (ones you've seen) and some are "whatever" pieces. So its not the COMPLETE portfolio but regardless, this is pretty much it. Sorry for lagging on uploading this but take a gander and tell me what you think.

---

Rosanna Trinh

Giancarlo Spurio(I just met this guy on the last day; helped me with these few sketches because I rushed them pretty hard LOL)

Giancarlo Spurio

Andy Liang (sketched this in his room about 4 years ago)

Dixie & Eglinton Starbucks


Downtown Toronto (2006)

SH905i

Scupture I made in grade 12. Last minute choice to put into portfolio *shrugs* Not really much to do with illustration since it's 3D but I hope I got some sort of recognition on being able to use different types of media.

Probably one of the best hands I've sketched so far (since i don't normally sketch them to begin with). Thank you Debbie for the quick tutor.



Shirley Vien (thank you again for posing for me oh so many years ago)

Self portrait (acyrlic; completed in one night...disgusting) I didn't use black paint in this piece; that's a first. Turned out okay, although steph didnt fucking recognize me *SAD FACE* "this guy looks familiar, I think I know him"...*10min later*..."oh its melvin"




don't know what this is? i'll tell you later

The size of these babies are 2"x3" per panel. This assignment was very fun.

Derek Leung, Sunny Ng, & Rose Lin @ vikki's house.

---

3rd image up: they're pigs lol it was 2006 when i made it and chose the pig as the animal for the design. it was the year of the pig that year harhar~

last week was hectic

Final week before portfolios were due, sheridan had their reading week. I took this opportunity to use the best I could with the art fundies work area...aka "the pit". Free parking all week too so that was a big $$ saver :P The portfolio was due this past Saturday and we had from 8:00am-10:30am to hand it in. I spent majority of the time this past week driving back and forth from Mississauga and Oakville. I picked things up, dropped things off, etc. Even tho its a 15min drive between my house and the college, I used up A LOT of gas. It was worth it because i managed to get things done this time and I wasn't stressing out as I thought I would.

There were a few days where I would work, work, work. Whereas others would be spent on organizing the final product. It was weird on those days; I didn't feel that productive because I wasn't really doing art works in general. I was just putting things together and making sure I knew where things would go in the end. Little did I know this helped me big time. I'm glad I spent time piecing things together and not stressing about it. I think I've accomplished something more than just completing the portfolio. I think I'm starting to develop some skills that I've always wanted to have but were never really there. Being in a certain mind set can truly bring these skills out and I really hope I don't forget them.

I've never been at sheridan for late nights/all nighters. It was fun and cool to experience with other people whom were working on their portfolios as well. I made a few new friends and when we would show each other our works, we were very supportive despite knowing everyone around was potential competition. I looked at it more as working with future classmates. I had to stay positive and I couldn't not believe in myself anymore (LOL pure lies). Artists are the biggest critics when it comes to their own art, so of course I was thinking I'm not gonna make it.

The week passed and before I knew it, friday was the final day/night to work on things. Driving back and forth from Oakville, Home and Kinkos to print things off was so exhausting but it had to be done. A print job that was $42 decreased itself to $27 with the help of rose's SPC card; i gotta get one of those. Pieces of work finishing one after another with barely any breaks in between. Working to music anywhere from asian music to electronica or mixes my friends put together to random instrumental tracks from final fantasy and such. My PSP died twice (luckily i had the charger). Overall, it was fun. Especially when the majority of us were lacking hours and hours of sleep. LOL

The line up for the portfolio was long. 1 hour wait. I arrived shortly after sketching in my last hand. The line up consisted of applicants with their parents. Which made me realize these applicants were those out of highschool and made me realize how old I really am. But I didn't care. I'm doing something about it. Better now than never. I soon bumped into classmates I took art fundies with 3 years ago and then I knew I wasn't the only one.

If you want to do something with your life; take charge and do it. If all you do is complain and just waste your life away in front of a computer or tv, you pretty much have no right to complain at all. Change isn't going to happen unless you get up and break away from that which is not making you happy. I want to be happy. But to gain that happiness, I know (now) that you have to earn it somewhere...eventually. Every new story that's told, there is a beginning. This is mine.

LOL here are some pics i took through out the past week. Yup; in the late hours while everyone else was sleeping. OH SPEAKING OF WHICH. when i got home. i had the best nap. woke up; went to work. AND THEN SLEPT AGAIN TIL THE NEXT DAY. it was so good :) *spaz*